136. Infiltration Investigation?! Here it Comes, the Ultimate S-Rank Mission!

Worth watching as a manga-standard episode? Despite containing some canon, oddly no.
Worth watching for the lulz? Not this arc. Though the next one has furries if that's any consolation? No, didn't think so.

[Tsunade has summoned Konoha's finest to her office.]

Tsunade: Ok brats, here are the rules!

Sakura: Rules?

Tsunade: For the fil- er, I mean for a certain time in your lives-

Naruto: You mean puberty? Are we finally going to hit puberty and call it Shippuuden for some reason?

Tsunade: Fanf- I mean the 'special' scrolls you can get in the market place if you know the right guy say you'll learn everything you need to know from Kakashi's Icha Icha, so go bother him.

Naruto: But I don't want to touch that thing – it looks like it's covered in milk stains or something.

Sakura: ...ewww!

[Kakashi appears.]

Kakashi: Hehe. Moo.

Tsunade: Get out of my office and stop plagiarising at once! God, I need a drink. Where was I? Sasuke is AWOL, so we'll leave him to get ridiculously strong for some epic battles in the future that will increase ratings.

Naruto: I'm going to start my training right away! You'll give me awesome, well thought out, worthwhile missions to hone my ninja skills, right Tsunade-baa-chan?

Tsunade: Er...yes...as I was saying, Sasuke's missing, Shizune and I will be hard at work breaking the genjutsu Sakura's been in for the last year – where she thinks she needs to shout 'Saucekay-kun' fifty times a day and stand around during battles to be a kunoichi – so that leaves Naruto. For reasons completely unknown to myself, whatever mission I send the Rookie 9 or Team Gai on, Naruto must be on it. Even if it means breaking up established teams that have been successful for years.

[Outside, Naruto and Sakura share a tender moment.]

Sakura: I'm going to help get him back! And I promise that next time I see him, I will be useful!

Naruto: Sakura-chan, you shouldn't make promises you can't keep.

[Loud smashing noises. Cries of agony, bones breaking etc.]

Voiceover: Does your partner physically or mentally lash out at you? Do you find yourself cowering in a corner, unable to take any more? Has your teammate defected to the Sound because he said pink was a stupid colour for hair and your partner nearly reshaped their skull? You are not alone. Call the number on your screen today to get the help and support you need. Breaking out of the cycle is difficult, but together we can stop the abuse.

I'm going to start around 8 minutes in to this ep, as before that is padding out manga content. The split occurs when Sakura tries to leave the village. This is doing her no favours, as going after Sasuke is a Very Silly Plan indeed, when she's done no training, has no idea what she'll do and Naruto agrees, which is how you know it's stupid. In manga-reality, she's playing with fish like a sensible girl.

I will now try to leave Sakura alone and not bash her any more than I do the other characters, despite all the tempting "I'm so useless, cry, cry, hey am I getting this emo stuff right? I'll be more attractive to Sasuke for sure!" Though I'll totally lay into Hayate cos I mean, come on, a ninja who coughs all the time? What's up with that?! Naruto catches up to her and there is some well done exploration of the dynamics of Team 7 before they are interrupted by a pervert with a mission. A mission that makes for a much more impressive episode title than it does a six ep arc. But that's life. Sakura hallucinates she is following Sasuke as they venture to the Rice Country to investigate the Hidden Sound Village. The words of the wise Sannin are as follows: "When there are people in an area, that means there are places for food and perversion." That's why I like Naruto – it teaches kids ethics.

Jiraiya breaks pretty much every rule of legal guardianship as he steals Naruto's frog wallet and shakes the rest out of him. Sakura stands by passively and picks up techniques on violence. She is then sadly duped into handing over her own purse and Jiraiya leaves them to investigate the town, finishing off his tick-list of How To Abuse Children.


For no reason whatsoever, the street is lined with people with glowing red eyes. Artistic license: letting animators abandon sense since one cavemen said "A brown bison? Not on my watch! Let's stir shit up with some blue." Jiraiya enters a whorehouse and one of the women comments "The wild duck has come in with his long onion and he wouldn't know that we were shaving hairs off his ass." Ah the conversation of prostitutes, it's why you pay extra. Anyone who says the animation quality and character design suffered during the fillers just has to look at in-depth beauties like this:


Naruto and Sakura are waiting outside the village when they fear they're under attack by dangerous Sound nin. But no, that would have been too interesting.


Instead it's a girl who is very obviously a girl. Did I mention she was a girl? Though I can see why Naruto and Sakura might think it's a guy:


Now. What's a good way to end an episode? How about Nova running through a misty forest, ok, and finding... maybe something?


Creating mystery and intrigue? More like mildly irritated, squinty-eyed viewers. It's all downhill from here, guys.

Team members: Naruto, Sakura and Jiraiya
Number of kage bunshin no jutsus: 0!
Number of rasengans: 0!
Next week: An angsty, diminished, incest-flavoured clan. Huh, haven't had one of those in a while.