143. Run Tonton! I'm Depending on Your Nose!

Quick note: I've been lagging on updates, but it's traditional and endearing for the blogger not to update on time...right? At least I can promise I won't be abandoning this. I've had some really nice comments that I appreciate, thanks guys, and please do keep checking back <3 Now, let us immerse ourselves again in the madness, like a baptism of retardation.

Worth watching as a manga-standard episode? This went downhill quickly.
Worth watching for the lulz? Naruto has suddenly descended into Dallas territory.

The medical team arrive to fix the trampled jounins and chuunins and no one bats an eye that Naruto is standing there in the middle of it. Maybe Kakashi had a word with the village and the whole kyuubi hatred thing was forgotten...


[Kakashi has assembled the village.]

Kakashi: Listen up, everyone, I have an important announcement to make.

Villager 1: Is he going to take off his mask?

Villager 2: Why does everyone care about that anyway? If it turns out half his face has been ripped off on account of all the ANBU missions he did, it's just going to ruin your masturbation sessions.

Villager 1: Fuck off, Craig.

Villager 2: You thought I didn't know about those? Six years of marriage – six years of sexless marriage, as I'm sure I don't need to remind you, dear – and I know all your little secrets, Charlene.

Villager 1: Thanks, thanks a lot, airing our dirty laundry out in public where-

Kakashi: Guys? Yeah, shut up. As I was saying, I have passed Team 7 and will be training them from now on. I know some of you are concerned about Naruto, because he hangs about on that swing set like a pedo in training, but I have something to say that I'm sure will settle the matter. [Clears throat.] He's awiiiight.

Villager 2: ...he's what?

Kakashi: He's awiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiight.

Villager 1: I can't- Is this one of those meme things I don't understand? ...Is that the Fonz pose he's making?

Villager 2: Beats me. Hey, why were we supposed to ostracise the 12 year old blond orphan again?

Villager 1: I have no idea. All I know is that I am not physically attracted to you and will never have the urge to have sex with you again.

Villager 2: Goddamn it!


Shizune has donned her vest/jacket thing because it's srs fckn bsns time. Fuujin and Raijin appear to menace her team, while Mizuki, a chuunin, sneaks up on Shizune, a jounin. I suppose you'd lose your touch too if you had to spend your youth relentlessly cleaning up the vomit of your alcoholic sort-of aunt, who bet your milk money on a horse named Kawaii Glue and spends her evenings rolling around in used lottery tickets. Elsewhere, Asuma and Kurenai are recovering in hospital and Naruto is sticking his nose in as usual because the buzz-word 'Orochimaru', and by extension 'Sasuke', has been used. Tsunade tells him to shut the hell up about Sasuke for once and then Tonton comes running up, presumably oinking that Shizune has fallen down the old abandoned mineshaft. They run off with Tonton sniffing the way. We're treated to a shot of Mizuki in some 80s throw-back top:


and find he has a dark haired, shy, past lover named Tsubaki:



Dave: Screw the bastards who had me sacked from Days of Our Lives! I'll show them all, right here and now, in this anime about ninjas or something!

Filler writer 2: You look so masterful when you get angry, Dave.


And so Mizuki is shown to be a manipulative bastard, while Tsubaki has to struggle with her feelings versus doing what is right. He stands and practises his crazy villain's laugh and she pleads with him to not turn into a tiger. Well, I'm paraphrasing. She watches him change facial expressions from this:


to this:


and somehow still continues to take him seriously.

Then Kakashi and Iruka are in the same room together since approximately 100 episodes ago. Fangirl Goggles™ turn this casual conversation into something much more: Kakashi summons Pakkun, taking Iruka's hand in a tender way, a way that says that so what if they've only had two minutes of screen-time together, it was enough for them to look in each other's eyes, amid the shouting and insults, and see true passion and homosexual lust.


Kakashi then fucks off so Iruka can do more work. If this were any other episode, Kakashi would take on the fight because he is more popular, but we have already established the fetish of the writers.


Fuujin and Raijin join in the fashion du jour, unfortunately, and Mizuki decides he's going to be all one-dimensional about chasing after power and using his ex. Fine, be that way – you're just a filler, baby, I was never that into you anyway. Naruto and Iruka catch up to Shizune, but after leading them to a rocky ground since I'm guessing rocks are easier to draw then trees, it is revealed it was a henged Mizuki. The Stupid Brothers pummel Naruto while Iruka and Mizuki get down to some good old rival action. Naruto laments the situation, then comes up with the burn of the century: "Looks like they're a few noodles short of a ramen bowl." How are the writers going to top this?

Team members: Naruto and Iruka
Number of kage bunshin no jutsus: 1
Number of rasengans: 0!
Next week: Tigers, that's how.