157. Run! It's the Curry of Life!

Worth watching as a manga-standard episode? This ep is fun, especially if you have a soft spot for Lee.
Worth watching for the lulz? Chops and changes between lulz and angst like a bipolar adolescent. Which would be a normal adolescent.

This week's title brought to you by MGM's forgotten shame-filled mistake.

Raindrops keep falling on my head. But that doesn't mean my eyes will soon be turning red-


Er, it's pissing it down and Lee is in trouble as Raiga harnesses the lightning of the storm to make himself extra powerful. It's not going well for our heroes, but on the plus side, today's the day you get to find out what's under Lee's spandex (and don't try and deny you haven't thought about it):


Saucy. Having just brought Ranmaru down the mountain, Tenten now carries him up again, with Karashi and Mrs. Curry following.

There is a hole for everyone (Lee's being more oddly shaped than most) ...or something... look, there is no way I'm finding the quote, that manga is fucking scary.

I notice the crippled Ranmaru is now walking, all thanks to the power of curry I presume. Because it has leg vitamins. Lee eats the whole pot, which turns out to have a bottle of wine in, and I'm pleased to announce that the writers finally bring the ridiculousness of this arc to a head and have some fun with the reviving powers of curry. Ranmaru reveals he is alive to Raiga, who does a little happy dance, but that might have been a bit premature as Ranmaru creates a wall of smoke round them and tells Raiga not to worry because he'll be his eyes. He then tries to lead them off a cliff. Way to be OOC, Haku.

Lee attacks with his drunken fist, stopping Raiga from walking off but Ranmaru ends up falling. Sadly, Naruto saves him and Ranmaru jumps in front of Lee so Raiga won't kill him. Having exhausted his number one option of a cosy murder-suicide, Ranmaru goes for asking Raiga if he's tried not being a bloodthirsty killer. In a pep talk that is convincing no one, far too much is attributed to curry:


There's a high school level argument about how Ranmaru is supposed to be Raiga's friend and no one else's except he went off with that bitch Tenten, I mean who wears their hair like that anyway, what a freak, and oh my god you have a crush on Lee don't you, Ranmaru, that is so gay, you're just all gaybos and I hate you I hate you. Ranmaru double dog dares him to zap him, but Naruto stands in the middle, using this chance to ask Raiga about Kisame again. The redundancy of this question makes Raiga go batshit crazy and start shooting lightning all over the place. Naruto smacks him about with his clones and Raiga goes off the cliff, choosing to fry himself into ashes rather than go splat. What a happy ending.


[Ibiki slowly rolls a senbon over his cracked lips as he studies the enemy nin before him. The fluorescent lights above them cast shadows in all the wrong places. Crime is never black and white, but this guy's as dark grey as they come. He's been in Konoha custody for five hours. He'll break him in two minutes.]

Ibiki: They told me it couldn't be done. He's a Swordsman, they said, one of the seven that brought pain and destruction to the Great Nations like no one'd seen before. That kind of mindless killing scars a man, scars him deep until his link with humanity's severed and gone forever.

[He waits for a reaction: regret, disgust, fear – he'll take any of them. Nothing. He plucks out the senbon and stabs it into the arm of the chair, narrowing his eyes at the perp.]

Ibiki: That, and he's a pile of ash.

[This is indeed true. The pile of ash does nothing.]

Ibiki: Cool customer, eh? That's how most of 'em start out. 'Til I break out ol' Scratchy. Scratchy goes for the itches you only get in hell. TONBO! Fetch me ol' Scratchy!

[Tonbo, who had thought the prisoner felt light as he escorted him to the interrogation room, pats his hands over the trolley of torture instruments. Cutting his finger on a rather nasty scythe, he pokes the digit against his mouth, but finds no salivary comfort as bandages obscure his entire face. What was he thinking?! Hastily he pulls the bandages off his mouth and sucks on the wound. No, bandages over the eyes, that's the only way to go.]

Ibiki: Tonbo! I ain't got all day!

Tonbo: Here you go, sorry for the wait.

Ibiki: I'm over here. And what the hell is that?

Tonbo: An instrument of torture?

Ibiki: ...it's a gardening trowel.

Tonbo: I wonder how that got mixed in there?

Ibiki: What the hell are you asking me for? No, don't get another one, we'll be here for hours.

[He reluctantly takes the trowel and puts it right in the face (?) of the rogue.]

Ibiki: Right. Now you listen to me. You better start talking or you're gonna have a long, painful conversation with Mr Trowel here.

Tonbo: Oh, Mr Trowel has arrived? [Bows respectfully.]

Ibiki: No, you idiot, Mr Trowel is what you just gave me. I name all my torture instruments.

Tonbo: Ahh, so that's who this 'Raidou' you keep talking to is. Is he the knuckle duster?

Raidou: I've worked with you here for six years. We went to the Academy together. I was best man at your wedding.

Tonbo: Isn't it amazing what these chakra-infused weapons can do nowadays? Ibiki, would you like me to polish Raidou?

Ibiki: God no, the paperwork after what happened last time was a nightmare. Look, go sit over there and don't cause any trouble. No. Over th- where the chair is. The chair. To your left. No, your- Fuck it, just stand still and do nothing. Where was I? [Brandishes the trowel again.] Like I was saying, if you don't start talking 'bout Hoshigaki Kisame, I'm going to weed out your organs!

[Pile of ash.]

Raidou: Ibiki, I don't think it's possible to still detect his organs-

Ibiki: What a surprise, Raidou has an opinion! The Hokage may have given you an easy ride because of the 'sexual harassment issues plaguing this department', but I'm in charge round here and we do things my way. You got a problem with that?

Raidou: No.

Ibiki: Cos if you do, I can tell you a little story. [Whips off his bandana and points to his head.] You wanna know how I got these scars?

Raidou: Not this again.

Ibiki: I'm waiting! I said, do you want to know how I got these scars?

Raidou: I already know! I was there the day that blender exploded! You're not the only one with scars!

Ibiki: Tonbo doesn't have scars.

Raidou: He might! We'd know if he ever took off those stupid bandages.

Tonbo: Who insulted my bandages?

Ibiki: Ignore him, he didn't-

Tonbo: No one insults my bandages and gets away with it!

Raidou: Tonbo...put down the sword.

Tonbo: It was you, wasn't it! I'll kill you!

Raidou: Hey, I'm just a knuckle duster, what do I know?!

Ibiki: Both of you, shut up and get on with- What the hell... the enemy's blown all over the floor! This is disgusting! Oh there's bits of him in my coffee and everything! Tonbo, fetch the Dust Buster of Doom, that'll break him.

Raidou: One of these days I swear I'm going to quit this job.


Team members: Naruto, Lee, Neji and Tenten
Number of kage bunshin no jutsus: 1
Number of rasengans: 0!
Next week: The filler writers have been quiet for too long – look forward to next's week culmination of months holed in a cave writing crap and using a dartboard creatively in The Naruto Fillers: Dave's Revenge!