Worth watching for the lulz? People getting buried alive and amusing reactions to hot food. This ep has it all.
That's weird, I could have sworn I already saw an arc about a young boy being used as a tool by an older, stronger nin... oh wait. I did.
Dave: Hey, the Wave arc did pretty well, right? Everyone loves young boys being used as tools by big tough guys.
Filler writer 2: I know I do.
Dave: Let's bring that back in exactly the same way! But to stop anyone from noticing... What were Zabuza's attacks like?
Filler writer 1: Mainly water.
Dave: Ok, get this, we'll make this guy lightning based!
Everyone: Wow, that's awesome!
Filler writer 2: You’re so smart, Dave.
This actually starts out with an Akatsuki vibe – a guy who buries people alive and gives them a funeral, crying as the soil is heaped onto a rattling coffin. This is good shit! Raiga is recognisable from your random filler villain as he wears lipstick and achieves his fashionable wide-eyed look by frying toads with lightning and licking them. Three men who appear to be slaves of the nutjob manage to escape while he's distracted, which is good, but then fall off a cliff in the rain, which is bad. Naruto finds them and carries all three as he walks along a river. Lee is practicing fighting while wearing various metal bracelets and shin guards that all the cool kids are wearing. Look at this – Naruto and Lee doing proper ninja training, instead of just chucking some shuriken at a target! This opening gets a thumbs up from me. Let's see how this can go downhill.
Tsunade sends Naruto and Team Gai to investigate and we find Tenten has been on a team with Lee for too long:
Sakura shows her medical training under Tsunade is improving as she cures a bird with a sore wing. Character development? Buh?? There's even a classic ending to this scene as bleeding and pissed off Izumo and Kotetsu carry the chair that Tsunade threw out the window in a rage back into the Hokage building. We learn where a chair's head is and that inanimate objects are susceptible to a Hokage's pre-menstrual tension:
Not content with cribbing the Zabuza/Haku relationship, Dave goes the whole hog and makes Raiga one of the Seven Shinobi Swordsmen. Naruto must be having difficulties with his contract and pay because a) he doesn't get excited at the prospect of a mission that could have a clue to finding Sasuke (and considering this is near the beginning, there's no hope for him) and b) he forgets who Itachi is and his relevance. Come on.
There's an amusing flashback to when Gai and Lee ran a marathon while asleep. The Curry of Life, sold at a shop on the route where our heroes stop at on their way to Raiga's village, apparently saved Lee's life. The fan reaction to the Curry of Life is ironically like the Curry of Life itself – you either love it or you hate it. But more on that later. For now, I want to point out this wonderfully realistic moment, because everyone has a grandmother who would say something like this:
Karashi Not To Be Confused With Kakashi puts a... live turtle and a lizard thing into the pot. This diet revelation of Lee's suddenly explains a lot about his character design. One of the men who escaped at the beginning leaves for the village in the night, wanting to save his buried friend. Is his friend emo with a fondness for snakes and butt-bows? Find out next time.
[NaNoWriMo fever has hit Konoha and many, many civilians have died due to all the ninjas typing away on keyboards or scribbling in notepads instead of kicking ass. This probably should have been brought up at the beginning of November when it actually started, but shut up.]
Sakura: How's your story going, Naruto?
Naruto: Not so good, doing words is hard.
Sakura: You mean writing.
Naruto: Talking words hard too.
Hayate: I know what you kids mean, my character is sitting under the light of the moon and I want him to have a deep realisation about himself, but I don't think the pacing's right and-
Naruto: [Pointing] Isn't he dead?
Sakura: Shh, I'm trying to think of a good word to describe Sasuke's eyes, and I've already used 'obsidian' 13 times!
Naruto: Sakura-chan is writing fanfic for NaNo?
Minato: 102,718 words in 21 days, oh yes, read 'em and weep! Bow down bitches, it's the Yellow Flash!
Naruto: [Eyes narrowing] Now I'm sure he's dead.
Obito: It's ok to have all your characters wearing goggles, right? Nothing says hero like a pair of goggles!
Naruto: Who the hell are you?
Kakashi: [Sobbing] This is the best day of my life!
Sakura: [Briefly looking up from Sasuke tying a pink haired OC to the bow of a ship with the intention to ravish her. Incidentally she went with 'obsidian' for the fourteenth time.] Because your dead teammate and sensei are alive for no particular reason?
Kakashi: No, because I made it to the 1,667 word count for the first time this November! I don't understand, this thing was supposed to be a steampunk tour-de-force with a dark sub-plot about a mechanic searching for a demon... and all my characters just keep having sex.
Jiraiya: I wish that would happen in mine! I've already spent my advance - Esmeralda and Lorenzo need to start getting sweaty and horizontal, but all they want to do is talk about the opera and the corkiness of the fine wine they're drinking!
[Kakashi raises his visible eyebrow. He may have raised both, but we don't know. We just don't know.]
Jiraiya: Jiraiya can be cultured!
Naruto: Why is 'one of these things is not like the other' playing? Ero-sennin isn't dead!
[Awkward silence.]
Sakura: Did I mention I get awesome in Shippuuden?
Kakashi: Yes. Several times.
Lee: Yooooooooooosssssssssssshhhhhhhhh I am so pumped that I don't even care I am breaking the tradition of dead characters suddenly speaking! I shall write the best novel ever using my skills of youthful passion, love of hard work and dedication! Being a ninja is the perfect day job for a NaNoer!
Naruto: [Tapping his chin thoughtfully] So what you're saying is that NaNoWriMo is for the ultimate ninja, and if you win it, you become Hokage!
Kakashi: No. No one said that.
Naruto: I swear, with that frog as my witness, I WILL GET TO FIFTY THOUSAND!
[Will Naruto reach the word count by the end of the month? Will Kakashi's characters ever stop having sex? Will Sakura convince anyone her OC isn't her with bigger tits? Find out November 30th!]
Team members: Naruto, Lee, Neji and Tenten
Number of kage bunshin no jutsus: 0!
Number of rasengans: 0!
Next week: If you don't tune in, it's your funeral.
Sorry.
THAT'S MY BIRTHDAY YOU KNOW
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