161. A Welcome Visitor Arrives: The Green Beast? The Carnivore? The Welcomed Beast?

Worth watching as a manga-standard episode? It's a good episode comedy-wise.
Worth watching for the lulz? Oh there are lulz. Plus the screenshot that spawned a blog.

'Exiguous: from the Latin, meaning scanty in measure or number.' (I can't read this without hearing it in the Pokedex voice.) Bitches don't know about my exiguous eighteen weeks of filler. Holler.

If you love Lee and Gai-sensei, and people impersonating them, the fillers are for you. If you have faith in Izumo and Kotetsu's ability to protect the village from outsiders, look away now. (There's a reason they're Tsunade's paperwork nin, you know.)


Lee and Gai go away on a mission and two bumbling idiots turn to cosplay to infiltrate Konoha – for honour, glory and fanboys everywhere. Those who would like to dress up as Gai, take note: put cucumber on your face, get a full body massage from a girl who wears bandages as a bra and have a manicure. If you want to be Lee: get fat. Dave really spent this week's budget on the spandex to cover the guy cosplaying Lee's arse, because the characters are drawn badly and the background scenery doesn't move. In this situation, have people standing and looking at a stall for ages, don't draw girls skipping and hovering in midair. They can't be ninjas doing something cool because Kishi has forbidden females being interesting. But the unashamed ridiculousness of it all makes my points petty and worthless. And those kind of comments in a blog too, imagine!


In a salute to the screenshot where Yondaime says fuck it and waltzes down a corridor while his son has the shits, the Konoha Amateur Dramatics Society joins together:



[As Jiraiya is their only source of funding, the society meets once a week to act out scenes from the stage version of Icha Icha Paradise. After turning from the eye-gougingly memorable image of that beautiful green arse, Ramen Man clears his throat and repeats his line.]

Ramen Man: I cannot believe my two wives have come to the same food stall at the same time! My secret has been revealed!

Inari's Mother: To think you were running a harem all this time, Giuseppe!

Mrs Curry: I, Tsunadina, don't mind for Giuseppe is the most handsome and virile man in the world and despite my vast years and decrepit face, I choose to give my body to him oh so willingly.

Genma: Would. You. Like. Some. Food.

Ramen Man: There is no time for food, I have a harem to run and wives to ravish over many acts and in great, R-rated detail!

[Meanwhile]

Bee Woman: Let us ignore their sexy argument and have some dango.

Ibiki: Aren't you supposed to be dead?


Ibiki isn't very good at staying in-character.

That would be the case of fanfic that's going around.

Kakashi, cool guy that he is, isn't fooled by the blatantly obvious disguises, and plays along before reporting to the Hokage. Tsunade sets herself alight and decides to have some fun. Yes that actually happens, watch it for yourself. Meanwhile, our main character, better at jutsuing up boobs than braining, begs to train with manicured!Gai and fat!Lee.

What did I tell you about this descending into fanfic? Naruto has become super uke number one; if he fell over in a field he'd get raped by a flower.

Tenten appears wearing a different outfit than usual, probably because no one in the office had a reference handy. She gets them to plant rice in a field. Then flying leeches attack. Yeah.

The lament of many a cosplayer. The filler writers sure know their audience.

Sakura begs them to recover her laundry, which has carelessly blown to the top of a cliff. Personally I would just buy new bedding, but Sakura bravely risks looking stingy to fill five more minutes of plot. And then Tsunade's slug has a cold. Naruto finds something deep and meaningful in waxing on and off, while 'Gai' and 'Lee' suffer painfully for our amusement. In a climax fit for Jenna Jameson, it turns out giant slugs sneeze acid. The idiot duo gets blasted off again with a double dynamic entry from the real green beasts and, in the most unlikely scenario since a ginger girl's hairclips turn into FAIRIES WHO PROTECT HER WITH HEALING SHIELDS NO REALLY WHAT THE HELL BLEACH, no one questions why something that pornographic is allowed in a children's cartoon.

Let me leave you with the thought that this episode isn't pure fantasy thought up by a group of guys in a cave. Oh no. In fact, it could be happening at a convention near you:



Team members: Naruto mainly
Number of kage bunshin no jutsus: 1
Number of rasengans: 0!
Next week: A Naruto/Harry Potter crossover? Accio headache!