156. Raiga’s Counterattack!

Worth watching as a manga-standard episode? Lots of curry. Lots of no.
Worth watching for the lulz? No, so I'm writing this review using song titles that include American place names. I have no idea why either.

Tenten is hanging around the cliffs for a reason I can't remember and sees that Raiga is back in the New York groove. Raiga is a little pissed his Haku doll has run out of batteries and takes it out on Tenten. She has clearly been taking tips off Neji as she pokes him with her pointy stick but gets zapped out of action.


Look at this dramatic ninja battle!

I'd just like to remind everyone this is supposed to be a fight between a genin and a former member of the Seven Shinobi Swordsmen - Tenten is able to torment him with her pole for far too long. Embarrassed by his boss's display, Karashi loses face:


Hahaha, good grief I'm hilarious. To be in keeping with the established world of Naruto, this would be the point where Raiga quickly and efficiently slits her throat without a second thought. However this would cause a couple of problems for Shippuuden, as Kishi couldn't be bothered coming up with another background character design, so instead she's left unconscious. I think they missed a trick here: Naruto: The Zombie Tenten Chronicles would have sold like hot cakes. Karashi flails around for a while, aiming Raiga's wrath at those pesky Konoha kids instead of his delicate fleshy parts. On gaining consciousness, Tenten is disappointed to find Ranmaru still alive. She proceeds to carry him up the cliff with the intention to drop him off the top, but instead spies a hut and, finding a window in her schedule, decides on whiling away the hours with some torture of her most hated demographic. Ranmaru inexplicably has a fever and says he'll die. She tells him not to joke, which is a poor joke on his part – he's got all that material about being crippled, surely he could have pulled something better from it.

Karashi goes to tell the gang that their teammate fell off a cliff and when they leave he takes the little old lady from Pasadena aside to tell her they’re getting the midnight train to Georgia (they better watch out for the devil). The boys run into Raiga who now is using real lightning instead of fake lightning! Jeepers. In what much be the bunshinest kage bunshin no jutsu scene ever, Naruto keeps creating clones so Neji can ask them if he knows the way to San Jose. After frying them both, Raiga makes an observation:


Tenten takes Ranmaru back to the shop, and since he's dying of course the medicine is curry. Of course it is. Karashi is a whiny little bitch, wanting to run away and go walking in Memphis, but the power of Lee compels him to make some fucking curry. I guess that means he's good now or something. Speaking about Karashi and Mrs. Curry, Tenten then slams pretty much all viewers everywhere:



See, this arc may seem to be about curry and lightning, but it's actually a coming of age tale for the Team Gai buffer (not to be confused with Lee, the Team Gai fluffer). Being a teen ninja is a stressful job and I suggest checking into the Hotel California for some R&R. When a girl is dreaming of nunchucks over Californication, it's a sign to take a step back and stop being jealous Neji has the hair flip down pat. After her speech, Ranmaru decides he's no longer such a fussy eater. We learn the secret to the curry is special meat made of human flesh and crack cocaine because he gobbles it up like a little whore. What does curry taste of? It tastes of living.

Sigh.

Lee asks Raiga why he's so evil and he explains it's because he left his heart in San Francisco. And I'm done.

In other news, now this blog is finally getting noticed for its edgy political humour – well one enraged comment on the previous review. Ok it wasn't that enraged. Or even at all – I feel the need to destroy all parties on the political spectrum, and, having looked up what 'Republicans' and 'Democrats' are on Wiki, have created this, which is surely to be snapped up by Private Eye minutes after posting:


Likening the President of the United States to a children's cartoon character WHAT WILL THIS BLOG DO NEXT SERIOUSLY I HAVE NO IDEA

Team members: Naruto, Lee, Neji and Tenten
Number of kage bunshin no jutsus: 8
Number of rasengans: 0!
Next week: Is this the way to Amarillo? Nope, just more bastard curry.