160. Will We Take It or Will It Be Taken From Us? The Okay Temple’s Battle!

Worth watching as a manga-standard episode? :/
Worth watching for the lulz? :/

I like the title of this one: "What's the temple like?" "Meh, it's okay." We were left wondering if Lone Ranger really murdered a family or not and I can't say I've lost sleep over it. Which is just as well with the time this blog takes to update. Naruto repeats


to emphasise how crazy this filler arc is. It's crazy.

Hinata's the one to notice the very important bird-shaped birthmark, so you know she's been checking out some Lone Ranger for herself. Imagining lots of little pale eyed babies in hats. What would those babies be? Damn cool, that's what. Mainly because of the hats. But let's not jump to conclusions – that mark on his chest could be anything. Let me aid your imagination with some commissioned artist's sketches of other possibilities:

Banana.
From another perspective – surely it wouldn't be so convenient as to be the right way round! – tap.

Or:


So let's not dive right in with accusations here. Or we could do and move the plot onwards. Let's do that.

But Lone Ranger was fraaaaaaamed by the Leader of the Pom Poms and he has a flashback to prove it.


Oh look, it's our old friend, the Uchiha massacre, here to sit in the armchair and tell us stories of how a bandage would set you back fifty ninja coins back in the day and how the Academy doesn't train 'em like they used to, what with its fancy scroll-learning. In the Uchiha massacre's day, why, you were pushed out into the fray and if you didn't break both your shin bones, you weren't learning! That's the problem with shinobi today, they've all got their portable telephones and their chewing gum and both their shin bones and no one's grafting like a real ninja should!

After literally falling asleep from boredom – in a room with the man who tried to kill them, with his sword in easy reach no less – our heroes leave because they're fed up of flashbacks and the other bounty hunter tells Lone Ranger he'll kill the target and then he'll kill him. He's the kind of guy who says what's on his mind. Hinata turns travel agent so she can get some lines, informing us about the Stone Country village where the thief is supposed to be. A big gold bell is being pulled up towards the temple and Kiba is struck with a vision that it will be yoinked. Because that's what you want to steal: a huge, awkwardly shaped object designed to make noise. The Pom Poms are back and their leader eats some dango so viciously it drives the viewer insane with rage at how evil he is. Or just insane, one or the other.

The gang head for the bell to stop it getting stolen but a group of glaring Pom Pom Nin try to stop them. Hinata's byakugan fails epicly when they turn out to be clones. Naruto laments he doesn't have time to think, as if it would make an iota of difference. Lone Ranger joins them because Naruto has taught him the power of teamwork, which is pretty much the only moral of the series. Pom Pom Leader grabs the bell and Naruto, Kiba and Hinata rope surf down to him because it's time to upgrade the running along with your arms stuck out thing. Lone Ranger hops on after Naruto tells him he won't be one of the cool kids if he doesn't. Peer pressure – if it helps get this episode finished, I’m all for it.

Look at how evil I am, with my love of a well trimmed beard and my vague resemblance to Jafar!

The rope breaks and our heroes fall in the water, but Lone Ranger lands in the boat and stops PPL mid cackle. He gets giddy over being able to claim his innocence, but then he gets stopped mid-giddy by the other bounty hunter. His speech goes as follows:



What.

But the real mystery here is how Kiba's hair has doubled in length in approximately ten minutes:



Filler writer 2: How should we end this one, Dave?

Dave: Hmm, it needs to be dramatic and shocking. Let's throw in a twist where the bounty hunter turns out to be good. Or something.

Filler writer 2: I've got goosebumps.


The bounty hunter says the village should be ashamed of themselves for calling Lone Ranger a murderer without having proof and, in a very unlikely move, PPL confesses to the crime. Which means a moving moment about the glory of men who capture men for money and a mission failure for Naruto, Kiba and Hinata. This actually has an effect on a later episode. Plot, in a filler arc? What the hell is going on?

Team members: Naruto, Kiba and Hinata
Number of kage bunshin no jutsus: 2
Number of rasengans: 0!
Next week: How to cosplay Gai-sensei – it's just as gay as you'd imagine.