154. Natural Enemy of the Byakugan

Worth watching as a manga-standard episode? Yes and perhaps that's why it'll look oddly familiar.
Worth watching for the lulz? Less curry than last week (!)

Since they don't have the sharingan to play with, the filler writers seem to like inventing the foil of the byakugan. This time it isn't Neji failing his driving test due to that arsehole cyclist coming up in the exact position your wing mirror doesn't reach and then they have the nerve to fail you when there are minor consequences such as fractures and law suits! Where was I...through Neji Vision we see a bunch of enemies surrounding them and that chakra patterns form scary clown faces.


They get down to some ninjaing when the bad guys turn out to be trees and rocks. Neji is suitably embarrassed and won't be comforted knowing it happens to the best of us. The byakugan pwns all yet it's been tricked with illusions that have chakra systems. This shit, it just gets crazier. Don't feel bad, Neji, to recap:


Oh yeah, if you were wondering how the gang survived the lightning attack that was last week's shock cliffhanger, I'm going to go out on a limb and guess they jumped out of the way like sensible ninjas do. Raiga takes the piss and inexplicably dons a Zabuza mask, while blasting our heroes with some more lightning. I hope you guys like lightning, because we're going to be seeing a lot of it. He thinks he's got rid of those meddling kids in one attack and surveys the scene, commenting in what can only be described as an affectionate tone "Ah, warm corpses." No doubt he found The Texas Chainsaw Massacre endearing. Lee does some damn good fighting while unconscious and manages to detach Ranmaru, who pops out in a cocoon like a little maggot.


Lovely. Naruto asks Raiga if he knew Zabuza and Kisame and unleashes a torrent of bitterness due to his loss in the Great Screentime War. Tenten and Neji decide that it's a good idea to stand near rather than stab the cocoon that is utilising Edward Cullen no jutsu. In a moment sure to have the audience on their feet screaming "WHY GOD WHY" Neji actually implores Naruto to use kage bunshin, but this might be because Tenten is suddenly acting strange look it's sparklier in the ep ok:

"This is the skin of a killer." [Insert angst]
"A sexy fine killer!"
"...Tenten that is not appropriate."

Naruto rasengans Raiga off the cliff and they unzip the cocoon to find Haku. I mean Ranmaru. He wastes no time in flashbacking everyone to fill us in on his plagiarised backstory, taking a Kimimaro direction this time, just so no one's left out. I'm waiting to find out Orochimaru gave him a curse seal and that he has a brother to get revenge on. Anyway, way back when, which is a time when everyone looked the same as they do now, Raiga looked to be in the ANBU of the Hidden Mist Village and was looking for a spy from the Hidden Mist Village. But continuality obviously isn't his strong point because he's forgotten who he's supposed to kill and is killing everyone. Well, that's one way to solve it.

Ranmaru is a special snowflake and enchants Raiga with his glowing red eyes. Conjunctivitis, it's bringing sexy back. From then on, two become one and they set their spirits free as it's the only way to be. All this story highlights is the need for the shinobi nations to get together and organise some damn counselling sessions for their many, many orphans. Ranmaru leads Naruto on the guilt trip of a lifetime as Naruto just punched his wheelchair off a cliff and oh did he mention he was crippled? So, kids, let's get to the moral of the ep: what do we do with disabled people? We tie them up and leave them without food, that's what we do.

And all the time this has been going on, Raiga has been like this, which I find disproportionally amusing:


Team members: Naruto, Lee, Neji and Tenten
Number of kage bunshin no jutsus: 3
Number of rasengans: 1
Next week: Neji predicts a storm is forthcoming. I predict a bad joke and excuse to post these pics is forthcoming:


Although of course this means for female viewers next episode can be nothing but disappointing. It's the lesson I hope this blog teaches.