138. A Pure Betrayal. Fleeting Wishes

Worth watching as a manga-standard episode? Disturbing to know this is the beginning of déjà vu – crossdressing: the fillers like it a little too much.
Worth watching for the lulz? Fuuma: Japanese for WTF.

And so we begin:


Surprisingly, Naruto uses rasengan and scares the baddies off. Sakura accuses Jiraiya of being a pedophile in a light-hearted scene, bringing hilarity and whimsy to his serious, life-destroying crime. Then she has another Sasuke hallucination:

Really, someone should tell her there are pills for this kind of thing.

Stopping briefly for some grub, Nova makes tea for everyone with some added poison. Oh you sneaky filler girl.

I imagine Jiraiya is used to hosting this kind of party.

Clamps appears and wants to get down to some clamping. Nova is concerned as she didn't realise there was going to be quite so much clamping when she joined the Fuuma Clamping Gang of Clampers. She gets a bitch-slap to the face, with the clamps no less, and then ohoho it was all a set up. That's right, Team Good Guys is not actually dead! Honestly, the twists in this show. I think we're supposed to absolve Nova of her drugging people crime because she is so desperate to see her distantly related lover, but I'm more concerned about how Naruto accuses Clamps of forcing her to take part, who says it's the truth, there's a flashback and suddenly Naruto says "So you did trick Nova!" It is my belief the big reveal is going to be that Naruto was in charge of the flashbacks all along, possibly by uttering 'flashback no jutsu' or something equally original, and the kyuubi's chakra allows everyone to simultaneously experience a scene from the past, especially if they weren't there themselves. Or Dave was having problems with this script from the get-go, one or the other.


[Back when Nova first joined the outcasts.]

Nova: I will do anything to see Arashi-niichan!

Clamps: Anything? Think about what you’re committing to. As members of the Fuuma clan and servants to Orochimaru-sama, we will give you the harshest tasks, the most dangerous missions to prove you are dedicated to our clanly oath of incestuous-behaviour-that-is-technically-legal.

Spider Man: Next time we see Orochimaru-sama, we should ask him to help us take it to the next level and make closer family relationships legal!

Clamps: Great idea, I have a sister I find oddly attractive.

Spider Man: I totally want to make out with my mother!

Earth Guy: I like the girl who works behind the bar in Otogakure...

Clamps: The one with all the facial piercings?!

Spider Man: Dude, that's sick.

Nova: Er, my mission?

Clamps: Oh yeah. I shall ask again: will you do whatever it takes?

Nova: [Gulps] Yes. I will.

[Clamps hands her a leather pouch.]

Clamps: Under no circumstances are you to look inside. Take it to the very edge of the forest, being careful not to be intercepted by our enemies, where you will find a wooden shack. Inside is a wizened old man who doesn't take kindly to strangers. Persevere and gain his trust. Give him this bag in exchange for a box of vials. They contain a liquid of great importance to our work. The box will be large and heavy, making concealment harder than usual, but each step home with it in your arms is a step closer to being reunited with Arashi-niichan.

Nova: I will complete this mission or die trying!

Clamps: Godspeed.

[Nova returns three days later holding a crate of beer.]

Nova: You guys are dicks.


As for what happens when the Earth user turns up… What's the punishment for not being a bishie, other than little screentime and a fast death?


Metamorphosing into a little girl, that's what. Jesus Christ. It must be a real bitch to perform your strongest technique, knowing it will result in death, only to see your opponents are completely unharmed because you didn't see the old frog stomach protection jutsu coming from a mile off. He/she transports his/her comrades to safety and they in turn take him/her to Orochimaru to be saved. Unfortunately they realise a little too late that Oro is not a nice man and they get sliced and diced.

Team members: Naruto, Sakura and Jiraiya
Number of kage bunshin no jutsus: 1 (plus continued bunshin action from previous ep)
Number of rasengans: 2 (again, 1 not by Naruto)
Number of times the word 'clamp' is used: 13
Next week: Instead of a bit of snark, you get a fun fact – the preview mentions Orochimaru's hideout castle was built by his father, which probably massacres canon, but sounds kinda cool.