29 August 2009

147. Confrontation of Fate! You Will Not Defeat Me

Worth watching as a manga-standard episode? I am just not going to answer this.
Worth watching for the lulz? Jesus Christ, this episode.

This is how we left our boy Mizuki last week: with a fat foot.


Having inexplicably needed a potion to activate the cursed seal, he does some mighty morphing into a freak. Naruto simply runs at him and rightfully gets punched in the face. Tsubaki does some pleading and ends up with her and Iruka taking a hit. That's her out for the rest of the fight. Mizuki's curse seal release seems to have given him the ability to speak the mind of the audience as Naruto kage bunshins it up:


Naruto gets his ass handed to him in the fight and only after Mizuki stomps on his ribcage does Iruka call out "Don't lay a finger on him!" Then he reaches for his- oh god not the kunai again, I can't take it, and no a couple of shuriken are not enough to distract me from the monotonous tones of clinking metal. Mizuki gets him in a headlock and threatens to 'kill his fate', which is rather badass of him, and reveals he is after the ultimate body. Look, someone has already been down this dark, predator-themed path before, and it didn't turn out so well for him either if recent come-back ratings are anything to go by.


There's a nice nod to the beginning of the series, in keeping with the fact that Naruto has about three scenes and then uses them again and again in what are known as 'cycles' rather than 'limited ideas'.


And then. Well. Look away now? Awkward matchup only adds to the horror.


WHY IS IT STARING STRAIGHT INTO MY SOUL?! WHY DOES IT WANT TO SELL ME FROSTED CEREAL?!


It's like when you type a perfecting innocent phrase like 'toaster' into Deviantart and you get this result where a muscled tiger with blue hair is making toast because it thinks it's people.

Let's go elsewhere, anywhere – Team 10 will do nicely. They've been holding the Stupid Brothers for about two episodes now, so naturally they're tired. They break their hold and are about to get squished when... Tsunade appears! I very much like seeing the Hokage get off her arse to go and do something. It seems that once you become the strongest ninja in the village, you are immediately not allowed to go out on the field and do anything helpful. Though she might just be nervous considering the times previous Hokages have done this – Sandaime and Yondaime respectively – it didn't go so well. She finger flicks Fuujin and Raijin and they run back to prison like good little super strong freaks.

Naruto's still getting punched about, which he generally dislikes. He tells Mizuki he's fucking off because he's been distracted by a shiny thing. Mizuki decides this is not grrrrrrrreat and chases after him. Iruka has set up some exploding tags, which he detonates, calling it the 'sealed bombs' technique. This does absolutely nothing – the bombs don't even go off – and Naruto rasengans him as he has done many, many times before. Now, what does god do to furries?


He zombifies them apparently. He no longer has the eye of the tiger or incidentally the thrill of the fight as Tsunade turns up and explains Orochimaru never meant to make him powerful and he was just in it for the lulz. It is mentioned several times that, thankfully, Mizuki can no longer be a shinobi and has presumably been taken away to yiff in hell. The episode ends on a charming, animal-themed note as Sakura comes running up to say she brought Tsunade's fish back to life so they don't have to flush it down the toilet.


[Let me take you to a place where time flows differently, where pedestals have been inexplicably installed under floorboards, where Hello Kitty toe-nail clippers come in five different colours.

This is the Fangirl Zone.]


Renge: Ohohohohohohohohoho! Order! Order! The next meeting of the Fanservice And Gayness Society has begun! What were the writers thinking? If they made a collectible figurine of tiger!Mizuki, I would smash one on the floor in disgust! And then display the one I'd bought for my collection and the one I'd bought to keep in the box and maybe rough up the one for play a little, depending on my mood.

Misa: Misa liked the big kitty because it went against society's norms and was blue. Misa thinks he would look attractive pretending to be a 12 year old Victorian girl.

Renge: Word of the week: furries. Misa, make sure you underline it. There was so much potential for an adorable neko-boy, it makes my heart ache thinking about what could have been. Unlike the pairing of SasuNaru, which is clearly where the manga is heading.

Tyra Banks: [From behind the door with a 'DANGER' sign on it.]
It's obviously NaruSasu!

Renge: Shut the fuck up, Tyra!

Everyone: ...

Renge: Where's Sasuke? He can settle this for us.

Mikuru: R-Renge-san, please don't be angry, but Uchiha-san cut off his own foot to escape.

Renge: Some people are so rude! Well don't just stand there, go eBay it already! Yaoi doujins don't pay for themselves!

Mikuru: Right away!

Renge: What about his handsome aniki?

Mikuru: Sorry, did you just...em.

Renge: What?

Mikuru: It's nothing. Just that you were speaking in English and then you suddenly used a Japanese word.

Renge: What do you mean I was speaking in English – we're all Japanese.

Mikuru: Yes, but if we spoke in Japanese 95% of fandom would not be able to understand us. Yet there is great protestation over dubbed anime, I have been told!

Misa: Misa has seen plenty of wank!

Renge: Right... Itachi, where is Itachi?

Mikuru: I have been looking after a crow for the last two days thinking it was Uchiha-san using a ninja technique, but now I am quite sure it is just a crow.

Renge: So we've lost both our Uchihas. This is disastrous. Almost as bad as the ending to this arc!

Misa: Misa thinks that cyclical comment was not contrived at all!


Team members: Naruto and Iruka
Number of kage bunshin no jutsus: 2 (inc. 1 off-screen)
Number of rasengans: 1
Number of bowls of Frosties I have eaten as a result of this episode: 0. Give me Rice Krispies or give me death.
Next week: This anime is for porn, this anime is for porn. That is why Naruto was born, for porn, porn, porn. And bugs.

1 comment:

  1. I belive the writers just got kinda mixed up with One Piece, and let him eat an devil fruit.

    ReplyDelete