Worth watching for the lulz? Be patient, my child.
Note: Another note, how delightful. ETA no updates for a fortnight at least as I move house and try and find internet in the middle of nowhere. To make up for my absence, have a buttcone <3
There's a big hole in the ground that has inexplicably turned the sky red. Naruto hastily looks for Iruka. Hmm, where could Iruka be? Oh there he is, under a rock. Screw your Tobito and Danzobito theories – Iruka has been Obito all along! It makes perfect sense in a way it doesn't at all. Tsubaki steps forward and, as Pakkun insinuates she's Iruka's girlfriend, thousands of fangirls appear on the horizon with flaming pitchforks (they're the kind of mob that like to save time with their rioting). But, since Iruka emphasises she's not his girlfriend, the fangirls disappear into the abyss, back to stalking Sasuke. They do a much better job than Naruto, though the obsession level is about equal. Where was I. So Iruka is a sexist git and won't let Tsubaki come with them because she hasn't finished the dishes. She promises to do them later and he relents.
Mizuki breaks into the Nara clan's medical hut, where two guys are discussing white cells. It's a laugh a minute in that clan – don't start them on deer, your sides will literally split. He knocks them out and activates the Dark Mark.
There is a stuffed tiger, which is horrible, horrible foreshadowing and by the glance Mizuki gives it, he's probably considering whether he has time to hump it.
He grabs some ingredients and makes his getaway. Also TIGER:
Mizuki: So, hey, how's it hanging?
Tiger: Excuse me?
Mizuki: Oh how rude of me, I'm Mizuki. I just noticed you under the table there and thought I'd come say hi.
Tiger: Hi.
Mizuki: What's your name?
Tiger: Well I'm just a stuffed prop, so I don't actually have a name. It wasn't important to the script.
Mizuki: That's terrible, you should talk to someone about that.
Tiger: Yeah, I don't really care.
Mizuki: That sounds like discrimination. You got an agent? I have a number on me somewhere...
Tiger: No, honestly, it isn't a big deal.
Mizuki: So what's it like living in this hut? They use you in experiments?
Tiger: Like I said, stuffed, so...no.
Mizuki: Ahh decoration. You're very good looking, I can understand why they keep you around.
Tiger: ...Thanks.
Mizuki: So-
Tiger: I'm going to be honest, I'm not feeling comfortable with the way you're looking at me-
Mizuki: I'm not trying-
Tiger: Please could I finish? -at me and I think it would be best for both of us if you left now.
Mizuki: Seriously?
Tiger: Yes.
Mizuki: You're trapped in this hut since you, you know, can't move – no offence.
Tiger: None taken.
Mizuki: And you don't want to even talk to me?
Tiger: As I said, I just don't feel comfortable with the situation, sorry.
Muzuki: Cos that can really knock a guy's confidence.
Tiger: It's nothing personal.
Mizuki: See I can't help but take it personally. [Puts a hand to his forehead and sighs.] This sort of thing always happens to me. I leave myself open to this kind of rejection and it just-
Tiger: I'm sorry to hear that.
Mizuki: It just hurts, you know?
Tiger: Happens to the best of us. My girlfriend and I didn't split up long ago, so I know what it's like.
Mizuki: Oh? That sucks. Women are bitches.
Tiger: It was an amicable break up. And we still see each other from time to time. I mean, she's mounted on that wall over there.
Mizuki: That's the thing about a relationship ending, they crowd you when you want space to think, and when you need- [Descends into sobs.] when you need them, they fucking abandon you and before you know it he's been round the block so fast he got a fucking speeding ticket. Screw him. Screw him, I don’t need him. [Takes a deep breath.] Thanks for listening, I appreciate it.
Tiger: No problem.
Mizuki: I feel that we really connected. Can I call you sometime, just to talk?
Tiger: No, I still think it's better you didn't.
Tsunade is given word of the break in by Tonbo. He's the guy with the bandaged head and seems to have fans despite getting about five seconds of screentime. Not surprising really, there's probably a fansite for Mr Ukki and he's a fucking plant. Tsubaki, whose fringe was cut with pinking shears, emos over Hidan's long lost brother while Tsunade works out what he's up to. It's all very stormy and atmospheric and for some reason her office is twice as large as normal.
Flashback to the exact same teammate murdering from last episode (not that I don't feel bad for the guy, but let's face it, more than once and his death becomes boring) and then to a bit before the series start, where Mizuki meets up with Orochimaru, who tells him he's got moxy. He gives him the curse mark, saving the most erotic placing for Sasuke of course since Mizuki is old and past it by Oro's standards. It doesn't turn into the little commas we know and love, but a big skull. I'm not sure why, other than for badassery, but let's pretend it's integral to the core of Mizuki's being.
In the present, he approaches a cave (screenshot because I like how the composition is like an eye. Good grief I like something!):
calls out "lumos!", which you should recall is a joke I've already used, and finds his secret cave laboratory, where he gets to work playing with his stolen ingredients. Now I can think of several people with the curse mark and none of them had to do anything special to activate it. Just survive pretty much. But that wouldn't have stretched the arc to fill six eps, so out the window established canon goes. Releasing the gates to the coloured liquids so they'll mix, with their powers combined he becomes...oh god this is it. Do not read the next review.
Team members: Naruto and Iruka
Number of kage bunshin no jutsus: 0!
Number of rasengans: 0!
Next week: Seriously, don't.
Lol
ReplyDeleteThis was an entertaining read and for that I thank you...so thanks >.>