Worth watching for the lulz? Have some prepubescent lulz.
Note: Didn't I promise to give up on the notes? It's that sweet thrill of typing the word, knowing I'm going something wrong, but can't stop, riding the high and then scrabbling around in the low for another hit... also the heroin might have something to do with it. Anyway, the point of this note (there was a point?!) is to say this review was actually written a couple of months ago and therefore does not sit with the current date of November, because, mercifully, all bugish living things are dead. Go cry in a corner, Shino. But, if you happen to be reading this later, when you're not paying attention to the date it was posted, go ahead and pretend you didn't read any of this. It's all a smack-induced fantastical dream anyway. Which may very well be the legitimate ending to the fillers. HERE'S HOPING.
Here we are again, at another explosive arc end – time for shock revelations, plot twists, epic battles to the death, vital character development... Yeah, I'm not really seeing how bugs fit into this. Not that anyone is interested in my personal life, but by odd, phobia-inducing coincidence I'm reviewing this ep in my new flat, which has a highly suspicious wasp frequency. Every day I wake to find my kitchen a siege in the Great Wasp War against... bees. Whoever. Possibly instigated by Japan copyright laws over their design in animation. The point is my countertop is not a no man's land and neither is my sink a dugout- OK LITERALLY AS I WAS TYPING THAT A WASP APPEARED UNDER THE WINDOW SILL. What the fuck, has Naruto taken over my life so much that it is now physically manifesting in my living space? Have I signed a six month contract for the vortex between the two- and three-dimensional universes? If so, why is Kakashi not naked on my airbed?
I think I just answered my own question.
So. Hinata is hurtling towards a waterfall because there is always a waterfall. Once again for prosperity: there is always a waterfall. This might be more emotional if she didn't look like a large turd:
Shino chucks a skuriken at Giant Fuck Off Bee, which doesn't please it, to the extent that Shino's lack of social graces causes the bee to vomit honey all over them. He proposes a trade of the Special Bug for Hinata, which I think was the plot of the last four episodes, and they agree because since this is the only screentime they'll ever get, this plot is the only life they know. But when they get to the place they left Hinata, she is decidedly absent and it's a presumed death by waterfall. Naruto gets pissed off and tries to nudge forward intimidating in his honey cocoon turdinator. This, however, lacks in the threatening department and Bee Woman gives them the chance to tell her where the Special Bug is and she'll spare their lives 'for the most part'. So she'll only kill them a little dead. Naturally, Shino sees a flaw here but before he can say anything, Naruto goes a bit Kyuubi, freaking one of the Bee Men out. He tries to attack him, but an exploding tag appears at his feet. When the smoke clears, why, it's Hinata!
The three bad guys send three separately named bee attacks at her, which all do exactly the same thing of surrounding her with bees. Hinata gets to be badass here, doing the Arms of Vishnu Jutsu:
Although her crowning moment of awesome is quickly interspersed with many of fail, just so we don't get too worried a girl is having a lot of screentime where she's fully clothed.
Sadly the subbers didn't take liberties with the script, but Shino does a
Basically he let them get caught so they didn't die in the hive while having his bugs working to get them out of the cocoons. Hinata kills all the bees with her fancy jutsu, although a can of Raid would have worked just as well really, but Bee Woman pulls out the big guns with Giant Fuck Off Bee making a comeback. Naruto tries to help her, but Shino holds him back. Hinata realises, a la Shippuuden ep 28, that all she has to do is make it harder, better, faster, stronger, but unlike Team Gai it didn't take her ten episodes to work that one out. She gives the bee one and it lands on the Bee Clan. Then she just looks adorable:
We then get a 4Kids style death suggestion for the bad guys:
The gang retrieve the Special Bug and are about to use it find Sasuke in ways I have forgotten and no longer give a shit about, when Bee Woman appears! With Giant Fuck Off Bee! And she's batshit crazy! Naruto rasengans her ass, but this also causes him to lose Sasuke's forehead protector, which he'd planned to squeeze and bottle, making a fortune on Eau d'Saucegay. Hinata finds it, but Naruto has to bend over to try and grab it from under a fallen tree. As he's stretching, the Special Bug is born and then- oh Naruto humour, you learned art! He farts and the bug slowly sets off on an epic journey... to his arse. Is it possible this was the most useless arc ever? Let's wait and see! The ep ends with Sakura chasing him, wanting to lay some deserved smack-down on his jump-suited person and it's a moment of genius that the bug helps her find his sexy no jutsu'd self in the crowd. Elsewhere, Hinata gleefully explains the mission was a failure to her family and can anyone get used to this, because I sure can't:
Then they have a few seconds left to fill, so Hinata keeps repeating 'more' until everyone gets sick of it and fades to black. So, my ending thought? I suppose since a fart helped him win the Chuunin exams, Naruto has broken even now. In a really disgusting way. Ewwww it's as if this show is for boys or something!
Team members: Naruto, Kiba, Shino and Hinata
Number of kage bunshin no jutsus: 1
Number of rasengans: 1
Next week: Another update! That's your twist ending right there.
The fuck
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