149. What’s the Difference? Don’t All Bugs Look the Same?

Worth watching as a manga-standard episode? The many scenes of bug searching make this episode rather like that icky uncooked part of membrane on top of an egg.
Worth watching for the lulz? Getting chased by a giant bug is a diluted version of lulz.

There's a very important onsen scene to establish Tsunade has breasts and is a questionable Hokage if she is throwing away reports her ANBU have risked their lives for. But, as we have already established, she has breasts so it's ok. While hunting in the forest, Hinata is concerned that they might get stung and Shino suggests his travel-size bottle of rohypnol:


Naruto is less than convinced, mainly because that's Shino's answer to everything. The Bee Clan has appeared in the shadows and they also want the Special Bug because the fate of their clan rests on it. I'm starting to think these guys need to get out more. Naruto is shown a picture of what the bug looks like:


and, to everyone's excitement, claims he has seen it before on another network. (On a non-Naruto note, in looking up that picture, I was reminded of the untimely demise of Leomon and my subsequent scarred childhood because of it. LEOMOOOOOONNNNNN) But dear, special Naruto is only the victim of child abuse and is thinking of cockroaches. Bee Woman decides it will be easier to let the brats do all the work and then it'll be as easy as stealing bugs from a genin. They've already been there ten days, which is a pathetic amount of time to spend looking for a bug. Hinata's searching is a little questionable as she feels the need to zoom in on snakes and birds, just to make absolutely sure they're not a tiny bug. Then there are many hilarious scenes involving bugs, each more hilarious than the last, which I'd describe, were it not for the incredible tedium that would involve.

Hinata has learnt her lesson from last time and is now only training at night with clothes on, much to the disappointment of tonight's peeper, Bee Woman. The next day, time is running out, but Team 8 find consolation in the fact that if being ninja don't work out, they can always be weathergirls. Unfortunately it won't be raining men, just water, which will bring on the spawning, which is important to the plot in ways I have forgotten. Bee Woman announces to her comrades that if the brats don't find the Special Bug, then she'll kill them because she wants to be a weathergirl too, damnit, and those Aburame are always stealing her thing. Hinata can see clearly now the rain is there, oddly enough, and after some hot eye pulsing action, spies the bug. They capture it and it lays an egg; in two days they can use it to find Sasuke. The Bee Clan decides to make their move and attack Hinata with bees. She cuts them up but gets covered in 'honey':

'...a questionable substance that the Bee Man had to spend a few minutes 'summoning his chakra' before he could shoot it at me. I want to go home! No, Shino-kun, rohypnol would not help!'
and presumably gets taken back to the hive. Because you know the writers are going to milk the whole bee metaphor as much as possible.


[On a break from searching for that goddamn bug, Naruto is on his ninja-mobile, calling his ninja-teammate, who is also a ninja.]

Naruto: HI SAKURA-CHAN, ISN'T BEING A NINJA AWESOME!

Sakura: Naruto, quieten the hell down before I come out of that phone and beat you senseless! I was trying to get through to Tenten, but she seems to be screening my calls...

Naruto: That's nice! I've been working hard on my mission! But I'm sort of tired of searching for bugs even though I've only spent two episodes doing it.

Sakura: Episodes?

Naruto: You know, measurements of time within my life.

Sakura: Oh.

Naruto: How's things with you?

Sakura: Not so bad. Today I had to sever all the important blood vessels of a rabbit's liver, remove it, perform surgery by shaking it about so the infected blood went everywhere – let me tell you, pus is hell to get out of magenta scrubs – and put it back in before the rabbit died, all the time feeding chakra directly into its eyes with my elbow.

Naruto: That's pretty gross, Sakura-chan.

Sakura: Being a medic-nin is not always an attractive job.

Naruto: I thought you guys all wore skimpy skirts and fed grapes to your patients and then to make them better you sat on top of them and-

Sakura: No, Naruto, that would be what happens in porn.

Naruto: Oh.

Sakura: I'm going to go now.

Naruto: Got to practice your lines?

Sakura: Lines?

Naruto: Lines and lines of medical text Tsunade-baa-chan is making you learn.

Sakura: Er, yeah.

Naruto: And act out your moves in front of the camera?

Sakura: Camera?

Naruto: The camera Shizune is using to film you while you work so you can watch it back and improve on your medical jutsu!

Sakura: _{Do we even have cameras in our-}

Naruto: And then are you going to leave the set and go home and watch something that isn't Naruto? Since although I'm damn amazing, sometimes you need to unwind and forget about work.

Sakura: Ok, that one did it. Naruto, what are you doing? I thought only Sai could break the fourth wall! Didn’t we sign some kind of agreement with that suspicious-looking man who went back into that cave with the sign outside that says 'CHARACTERS KEEP OUT'?

Naruto: The setup round here changes every week. Have you noticed that sometimes Sasuke is a bratty teen and others he's a sensible yet unfortunate victim?

Sakura: You know, I hadn't noticed.

Naruto: That's what the blog writer is hoping for.


Team members: Naruto, Kiba, Shino and Hinata
Number of kage bunshin no jutsus: 0!
Number of rasengans: 0!
Next week: Same as this week: more bees that don’t look like bees to go with more honey that doesn't look like honey.